"Allowing your child to decide what to do with his/her worn toys provides them a feeling of control in a situation that is largely, out of their control."
Over the years, many studies have been conducted to define and rank which typical life experiences cause the greatest amount of stress for the average adult. For anyone who has had to make a move, it probably comes as no surprise that moving ranks within the top 10 of the most stressful events… and once you add children to the equation, the stress level only increases.
The following tips have been compiled to help parents prepare their young children for a move, and to also help them adjust to their new home and community once the move has taken place.
Waiting until the For Sale sign appears on your lawn, or having your kids find out about the move from neighbors, will only leave them feeling left out and most likely, angry.
Most children get great comfort from simply being heard, and by being assured that their parents are committed to helping them adjust to a new environment.
Most cities or towns have their own website, which they use to advertise and promote life in their community. In addition to finding information on the area lifestyle, you should also find a list of the local amenities, such as schools, places of worship, recreation centres, community sports associations, and parks. Most community sites will also include locations of the nearest shopping malls, movie theatres, and special attractions such as water parks, horse stables, and public beaches.
Instead, ask your children to help you prepare for packing by separating their toys into three piles. Pile 1 comes with them to the new house. Pile 2 is for donating to a local shelter or community centre, and pile 3 is only for those toys that they understand are beyond repair, and for safety sake, should be thrown away. Allowing your child to decide what to do with his/her worn toys provides them a feeling of control in a situation that is largely, out of their control.
Ask your children to help you pack some of their belongings into boxes; and be sure to explain that the boxes, and every item that goes into the box, is going to be unpacked at the new house. Assemble some fun packing materials; a variety of brightly coloured (washable) markers for writing their name on each of their own boxes, bubble wrap for swaddling their dolls and soft toys, and a selection of stickers to decorate, and easily identify what is in each of their boxes.
Invite his/her friends over to enjoy a night of pizza and movies. Take pictures of each guest posing with your child using an instant or digital camera. Keep one copy for your child, and give one copy to each guest to take with them.
To keep your child from feeling isolated you will have to take steps to help him/her meet some new friends. Soon after moving into your new home, ask your neighbors if there are children of the same age close by. Ask those neighbors who have young children if they are interested in allowing your children to play together at the local park during supervised play dates.
Let your children help you plan an afternoon walk, or scenic drive through a specific part of your new town. By doing this, you will not only be helping your children to familiarize themselves with their new community, but your family will also be creating fun, new memories associated with your new home.
Even the youngest child should have some of their ideas incorporated into the new design. Whether it’s a big decision (choosing the wall color), or a small decision (selecting just the right spot for his/her toy box), giving your child “a say” helps them to embrace their new space.
Above all, keep the communication lines open - before, during, and after the move. Depending on the child, it can take anywhere from a few days to many months to adjust to their new surroundings.